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Mickey Cantor
The Announcer, Mickey Cantor '(voiced by Rodney Sherwood), is the head of the MNC sport, an entertainer to its fans, and a man shrouded in mystery. He seems to hold considerable influence over the MNC fans, reminding them that they must return to their assigned dwelling in before goverment mandated curfews are in effect and informing them of specified locations for fan brawls. He may also be the cause of the disappearances of people who record and re-broadcast episodes of MNC. Personal Information Mickey Cantor, AKA “Mr. Controversy”, has survived six assassination attempts (two of them successful) to become the "most insightful MNC announcer in history". At some point in his past, he worked as a male dancer. Mickey has a checkered history including several personal scandals and arrests for non-violent criminal behavior. From his announcements in-game, it can be determined that he is divorced, and may have a gambling problem. He is currently calling games out of his prison cell in Mexico as part of a plea agreement. *'Notable DNA :Andres Cantor, unidentified merchant marine. *'Likes' :Four team parlays, nice restaurants, weeklong parties *'Dislikes' :Process servers, divorce lawyers Quotes Before Play *Good evening everybody, welcome to another exciting match-up here on Monday Night Combat. I'm Mickey Cantor, hi-oh! I'm comin' at you live from the Steel Peel Arena. *Tonight's match is brought to you by Steel Peel! Now in cucumber, melon, and pear blossom scents! *Need protection from bullets, shrapnel, AND body odor? Hey, nobody can resist a Steel Peel man! *Today's action is brought to you by GrenAde III sports drink! It's an explosion of flavor... in your mouth! During Play Towards the player: *It would be a good idea to upgrade your skills riiiiiight now! *Hey, it'd be a really smart move to upgrade your skills now. *What're you doing with all that money? Upgrade those skills! *Hey, your mom called! She wants you to upgrade your skills, hi-oh! ...No, seriously, she did ''call. How did she get my number? *Hey, would you mind upgrading your skills? I got a little side-bet going on your kill-count. *You have got to protect that Moneyball by any means necessary! '''General action:' *What the what?! Where did that ''play come from?! *Oh! Did you see that? Amazing! ''Amaziiing! *Annihilator ready, the fans are on their feet! *OH, WATCH OUT! Team Hotshots with an Annihilator attack! *Annihilator, Icemen! That's a go! *Icemen lets loose with the Annihilator! *Ha ha, oh man, I just spilled hot coffee all over myself! Haha... IceMen with the Annihilator. *Woah, did you see that? Amazing! Somebody trademark that, Mickey Cantor Enterprises. *Hi-oh, bacon. Yeah-hea! *Hey, a Churro! Yeesh, man, you better head to the restroom, folks. Bullseye: *Oh, I bet Mr. Super-Fan regrets entering our mascot sweepstakes now. *Hehe. Hey everybody, it's Monday Night Combat's loveable mascot, Bullseye! Kill him, KILL HIM NOW! *Don't look now, but here comes Bullseye! It's the Monday Night Combat mascot! Hit him in his pants, he's got candy! *And there's our beloved mascot, Bullseye! RUN FOR COVER, BULLSEYE! RUN! *Here comes BULLSEYE! (chortles) Watch out, pal! *Oh ho, there's Bullseye! Ohoy...has he got a surprise coming. *Hioh! Here comes Bullseye! (chortles) We're in for a treat now. *Bullseye is being performed today by TIm Cook of Delaware, who will earn six ounces of real cheese for his efforts today should he survive. Mm, mm, mm! Lucky man! *Combat fans, remember that Bullseye, the MNC mascot, is available to help with your birthday party, your Bar Mitzvah, your marriage proposal, or to serve somebody with legal papers. Call today. *Hey, be sure to send us a postcard and a legal waiver if you know a special super-fan who'd like to take the field of combat as Bullseye, the MNC mascot! Kills by Bots: *A Hot Shots team member crosses the River Styx and a Gremlin pays the fare. *Ooh, an Ice Man is cloaked and smoked thanks to a Gremlin! *An Hot Shots member tips his hand and cashes in his chips thanks to a Black Jack! *An Ice Man member gets his one-way ticket punched by a Black Jack. *And a Hotshot gets a pine condo courtesy of a Black Jack bot; sleeps one, no stairs. *And a Black Jack overtakes an Iceman. You know, I use Black Jacks for my personal security detail, and I gotta tell you, firsthand, they do good work. Yes! *The Bouncers wrap up another package, this time with a Hot Shots team member for the bow. *An Ice Man bites the dust thanks to a Bouncer...who's available for children's birthday parties. Visit the MNC website for details. *Well, we got an Ice Man who's gonna be all thumbs for a while thanks to a Scrambler Bot. *We have a Scrambler on a Hot Shots member! That'll bite you in the gizzard. *Loyalty and honor until decommissioned. That's the way of the Buzzer Bot. The Ice Men down a man. *The divine wind strikes again! Hots Shots down a man thanks to a Buzzer attack! *OW! A Hot Shots member snuffs it in a hail of Gap Shot fire! *It looks like an Ice Man's joining the invisible choir thanks to a Gap Shot! *Ooh, that's embarrassing! A Hot Shots member is down after a Slim Bot gets lucky. *A Hot Shots team member is snuffed out by a Slim Bot! I bet they're gonna kick themselves when they see that on the film later. *Oh ho! There's a surprise! A Slim Bot frags an Ice Man! I don't know why, but that sounds disgusting. *You know, I imagine that Slim Bot was as surprised as anybody to score that kill! Look like the Ice Men are down a player. *It's a slot machine on steroids! That Ice Man just hit TILT! Jackbot with the payout! *Ooh, it's a walkin', talkin' piggy bank o' pain! Jackbot with the frag on an Ice Man. *Well, there's no gold at the end of that rainbow, folks! The Hot Shots put another urn on the mantle thanks to Jackbot. *You're not gonna get the Jackbot XL to give up his pot o' gold that easily (chortles), the Hotshots lose a member. Advertisements: *Achilles! If the mind is your enemy's greatest weapon, that's all the more reason to shoot them in the head. *Sprintz! What's that smell?! ...no seriously what is that smell? C-Can somebody open a window in the booth here? Dammit Tony! *LazeRazor! The official combat shaver of Monday Night Combat! After Play *The Hotshots win! Yes! Hi-oh! I'm goin' to Vegas. I'm goin' to Vegas! Oh ho ho... Hit me! *The Icemen are your winners! Which is bad news for their fans, who are outnumbered 3 to 1 by the Hotshots combat hooligans waiting outside the Arena right now. Lets go live to that action. *Oh-ho, what a finish! Well, I missed it myself, but I'm sure it was spectacular. Good night everybody! *That's it for us, combat fans. This teleview is copyrighted by MNC for the private use of our audience. Any considering rebroadcasting this releview or any part of it without MNC's consent need look no further than the tragic circumstances surrounding the disappearance of the Williams family of Toledo, Ohio. Three generations gone in a flash. Tsk, tsk. What a shame. *Well, folks, that's it for Monday Night Combat. Remember the violence you see here is performed by trained combat professionals with a deep personal hatred for their opponents. Do not try any of these things you see here at home, unless you have a certified copy of our home game. Good night, everybody! *And that's the game! Fans, please remember to save your ticket stub to get 50% off any government-issued food tube at your designated dispensary. *Well, that's all, combat fans! Stay tuned right after this for a live State of the Union Address by His Excellency, President for Life, Potentate, Lord of All the Beasts of The Earth And Fishes of The Sea And All That He Surveys...Danny Depipida. Good night! Category:Staff Category:Characters